The Intelligent Workout

If the post title wasn’t a dead giveaway, I recently had the pleasure of attending a Crossfit level one certification. It was phenomenal. After hearing about it for about a few years, sneaking in an occasional Crossfit workout, and then dabbling in it for the first half of this year I was ready to take the plunge. Here’s how it all went down.

Defining ‘Crossfit’ & Laying The Groundwork

Crossfit’s philosophy is that when it comes to fitness, the generalist is greater than the specialist. Your average weightlifter may be stronger than the average joe, but make them run a 800m dash and their heart will be beating through their chest. That’s not good. Conversely, a Tae-bo allstar may have great aerobic capacities but also might be able to count their vertical with their fingers or pop a lat attempting a pull-up. That’s not good either.

The main goal of Crossfit is to optimize performance across ten different attributes of fitness: Cardiovascular and Respiratory Endurance, Stamina, Strength, Flexibility, Power, Speed, Coordination, Agility, Balance, and Accuracy. The first four are seen through physical changes, the last four seen through neurological changes, with power and speed being a combination of both. It’s human nature to do only what you’re good at. Crossfit is all about getting people out of their comfort zones because that’s where all the great results are seen. The most tangible explanation of Crossfit fitness would involve an old lady pulling random fitness objectives out of a rotating bingo thingamajig (Sprint up a hill holding a heavy med ball, row 500m then deadlift 185 lbs 15 times, et cetera & the other infinite combinations) As the speed and number of exercises from the bingo machine that one is able to clobber increases, so does their overall fitness level.

The official straightforward definition of Crossfit is constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensity. Everyone I explain a Crossfit workout to thinks “That sounds like too much for me to handle!” but Crossfit is universally scalable and therefore built for everyone. It’s all about being as intense as possible relative to the abilities of the person performing the workout. For example, the Crossfit Workout “Chelsea” consists of five pullups, ten pushups, and fifteen squats performed every minute, on the minute, for thirty minutes. So where Mr. Muscles would do the workout as it is prescribed, someone not as fit might go for fifteen minutes or knock the reps down to 3-6-9. Grandma Moses could substitute ring or high inverted rows, push-ups on knees or a bench, and step-ups or squats while holding on to something stable. These workouts are built to kick some ass but this is a great thing in a fitness world where currently comfort reigns supreme. I always love hearing someone say “I could go for hours on the elliptical!” and then seeing that same person be completely juiced after slamming a ten pound medicine ball on the ground for twenty seconds. This is where Crossfit comes in. Plus the workouts are available for free at the main site with a 3 days on/1 off rotation.

Crossfit’s World Class Fitness in 100 Words breaks all this info down into something easily digestible (taken from WindyCityCrossfit.com):

* Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and NO sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat.

* Regularly learn and play new sports!

For those craving a more in depth look at Crossfit’s definition of fitness and fun graphics check out this free article from the Crossfit journal

Learning The Ropes & Super High Quality Trainers

The trainer quality at the certification was amazing. Our lunch break looked like they were about to start filming the sequel to ’300′ along with Jillian Michael’s younger sister on hand. The information they were presenting was light years ahead of traditional fitness ideology. My fitness training for the “Globo gym” I worked at consisted of two fifty-something ex-bodybuilders talking about proper machine technique, fiber intake recommendations, and how to sell a heart rate monitor for over a week. Vomit…

The foundational movements focused on were the squat, deadlift, and overhead press; all of which goes back to the original natural human movement basis. Everyone sits down, stands up (squats), picks up and carries items (deadlift and press) on a daily basis. The group started with a PVC pipe for the movements which was surprisingly effective and taxing after several repetitions and static holds. These were then progressed into two more complex movements for each original one – the front and overhead squat, the sumo deadlift high pull and medicine ball clean, and the push press and jerk. After all these movements were practiced we watched demos of hip extensions, back extensions, and sit-ups on the glute ham developer (GHD). Crossfit is a big fan of the GHD as well as midline stabilization and posterior chain engagement since they know that’s where the fitness magic happens. Later we practiced snatching with the PVC, kipping pull-ups, and the muscle-up – a pullup going into a dip on the gymnastic rings – some serious strength and stabilization needed for those guys…

‘Fun’ Workouts & Eye-Opening Efforts

At the end of day one the first workout we did was a slight tweak on Crossfit’s “Fight Gone Bad”. Fight Gone Bad consists of three rounds of:

Wall-ball: 20 pound ball, 10 ft target. (Reps)
Sumo deadlift high-pull: 75 pounds (Reps)
Box jump: 20″ box (Reps)
Push-press: 75 pounds (Reps)
Row: calories (Calories)

Each for one minute, clock doesn’t stop between exercises, and you get a one minute break before restarting the circuit. Add up your reps from all exercises and calories from rowing for your final number score. Unfortunately they were short two rowing machines, which I’m fond of, so burpees were substituted in, which no one is fond of. Incredible workout even though my shoulders were completely shot everytime I got to the wall-ball station since I began at the push press.

Day two we got to business early and did a workout called Apollo 13. Simple yet brutally effective requiring only a partner, 35 pound kettlebell, 20 pound med ball, and a roughly 100-yard oval. One person starts swinging the kettlebell all the way up, arms slightly past the ear while the other person runs the circle while carrying the deceivingly heavy med ball with partners trading the bell for the ball everytime around the circle. The catch is every minute, on the minute the group had to shout “Hell Yeah!” then drop down and do five chest to ground pushups otherwise potential future penalties would be enforced. This went on for ten minutes until time was called and the volume of our Hell Yeah’s were deemed satisfactory.

After experiencing my first two legitimate crossfit workouts I realized I needed to crank it up to 11 when Crossfitting on my own. The Neuroendocrinological responses (Hormonal & Nervous System Changes for those who aren’t fans of 21 letter words) that elicit rapid results are correlated with these intense bouts of exercise. I was also convinced of Crossfit’s competitive atmosphere and recording every workout as means to continuous motivation. I vaguely remember running a 6:35 mile in high school and being happy when I did eight reps while working in with a smug rugby player’s squat max in college. Pleasant memories but not very relevant or motivating. Having a hundred and ten pound competitor of the fairer sex with workout scores nipping at your own was also very effective for keeping one’s butt in gear.

The level one weekend was an incredible experience, very exciting and humbling at the same time. When a former navy seal says he had to check his ego at the door and reassess his range of motion chances are there’s a lot of work to be done. I have to thank all the trainers for helping me shrug off just about all the remaining meathead philosophies I had left in my noggin. Swapping these two days for every high school students semester of ‘Health Class’ would make the world a little more pleasant to live in. Try a few of the workouts on your own or better yet find a Crossfit gym and stop in for a freebie workout. & if you didn’t recognize me from my twitter I’m the guy in the group photo with the fashionable scalene sweat triangle, blinking like a champion, smack in the middle.

11 Bands, 11 Albums, 36 Songs. These tunes are for when you need to move some heavy iron around in your quest to be harder, better, faster, & stronger. At the end of the list you’ll discover the most effective places for finding even more music to keep your workout fresh and exciting. Tweekend is my personal favorite album but aside from that there is no particular order for the songs or band placement on the list.

The Crystal Method

Nicknamed the Godfather of fitness, Jack LaLanne is one of the most influential fitness experts of the last century…

Einstein defined insanity as doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different result yet redundant resolutions are practically a proverb. This decade is different, forget the resolutions, add a touch of common sense and self discipline, stir occasionally, & bingo. It’s all about the meat and potatoes. A great place to uncover common sense is to see what was going on 100 years ago. Common sense isn’t changing with time or technology. Check out

Eugen Sandow born in 1867. No heart rate monitors, protein powders, weight machines, or cardio equipment.

Modern Man Is Conditioned To Expect Instant Gratification But Any Success Or Triumph Realized Quickly, With Only Marginal Effort Is Necessarily Shallow. Meaningful Achievement Takes Time, Hard Work, Persistence, Patience, Proper Intent And Constant Self-Awareness … Hard, Intelligent Work Speeds Us Along The Path. Neurotic Obsession And Compulsion May Steepen The Trajectory But Usually Lead To Illness And Injury. In The End, The Process Takes As Long As It Takes — You Can’t Push The River. We Are In It For The Long Haul. – Mark Twight

#7 – Song 2 By Blur

WOO-HOO. It’s hard to top tempo changes of Song 2. With a cadence of 15 seconds off – 15 on – 15 off – 25 on – 15 off – 30 on, it is setup for some increasingly brutal intervals. Great for cardio intervals, timing a 90 rest period, & kicking your own butt cheeks in general.

#8 – Lateralus By Tool

When I’m in the weight room it is one of the few times I get that zen-like concentration of being in the zone and having only one task in mind. Pick-up the bar – Put it back down. Lateralus helps me get to that state of mind as soon as I walk into the gym. I press play as soon as I start my warm-up and then at seven minutes it finishes with two minutes of pure energy. Hard to find a better way to ignite.

First Semester is here & that means finding a way not to burn 52,500 calories in order to fit in with the rest of the incoming freshman. When investing in your education, the most important thing to consider is financing foodstuffs. These are the cliff notes for expediently packing on seven kilos because in college the sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

DO Stick with the Classic College Carbs – Devour easy mac, granola bars, and top ramen in bulk. Avoid filling proteins that are easy to make such as eggs, tuna, protein powder, or trail mix. Begin your courtship with Lil’ Debbie, fight your hunger with Hostess.

DON’T Walk Anywhere if Possible. Ride the bus, drive your car, take the elevator, buy a hoveround, search for moving walkways. Hook a Radio Flyer to unsuspecting sophmores.